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Should pastors date congregation members? Steve Smith knows what it’s like to have church members play matchmaker. A church member takes him to dinner and spends the evening talking about an eligible granddaughter. But the year-old single pastor, also knows how to get out of a sticky situation. Smith, who serves a Lutheran church in Virginia, Minn.
The truth works every time. The matchmaker’s fantasy sizzles. Talk quickly shifts to mashed potatoes. It used to be that single pastors were expected to find a mate in congregations they served. And church members eagerly served as matrimonial agents. But the rules have changed. New awareness about personal boundaries and sexual exploitation have churches re-examining whether dating relationships and even close friendships are appropriate between men and women of the cloth and those sitting in the pew.
What was once considered harmless and natural has suddenly become taboo.
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For Christian men, these values are especially important. Be upfront You should be upfront about your beliefs. This may also invite her to clarify her values with you and help you better determine your compatibility; you may even find that you hold very similar beliefs. Hold firm When you state your closely held beliefs, it is your responsibility to live up to them.
Dating, especially as you continue to see someone, may come with a host of temptations and invitations to violate your values. Sticking to your beliefs reinforces them and allows you to feel good about your decisions.
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